Driving Crazy!!

This post should have been written around 5 months back but you know what they say, efficiency is intelligent laziness ;-)

  More than a blog, this is my way of saying thank you to some very important men in my life, who have helped me become an independent woman.

I have always wanted to drive a car, and gave it my first short around 4 years back by joining those 7 days driving school. Day 7, and I was convinced that no one can handle the wheel better than me and to prove that I decided to take my Parents for a ride. Now before I divulge further a small disclaimer, my father is a little short on patience. So, with mom on the back seat we took off for a 'long drive'. After a few minor hiccups I was sailing smoothly. Mom had just started with her filmy dialogues of 'meri beti kitni achi gadi chalane lagi hai' when something came in front of me and I had to make a sudden stop. My father, who was still not convinced that I can drive freaked out and started shouting causing me to panick , that was the start of the argument. Oh, did I forget to mention that I also inherit a lot of traits from my father :). So the argument continued and since rishtey mein toh who mere Baap lagtey hain, he obviously won and that was the end of my driving dream, for the time being at least.

 Fast forward 2 years, my husband (then boyfriend) decided its time I learnt how to drive. 'But you drive an endeavour, where will I learn?' I said. 'You will learn on the endeavour, learn to love your car and the car will love you back' he said and that was just the beginning. I sat on the driver seat and started the car, memories from the past haunting me. First try, second try, third try , the car refused to start but the panick inside me had started at the first attempt. I looked at him with that puppy face ( which girls use often in situations like these) and said ' I don't think I can drive' but he was calm and patient. 'Ofcourse you can, just keep trying' he said with a smile on his face and that was the start of it. Over the period, he taught me to drive, early mornings, late nights he was always calm and convinced me that all drivers around me were idiots and I was the only one driving correctly. Never once did he raise his voice or got angry.

 Then came that day when my husband got transferred and I had to go to office alone. My father( in law ) calls me and says ' I am sending you my car '. This is coming from a man who has never seen me drive. I'm not sure if I can drive I remember telling him, but I am he said and that was the end of discussion. The car arrived next week and that's how simple it was. I cannot even describe the feeling when I took it to office the first time. Scared obviously, but more than that I was feeling so loved and blessed to have such lovely people in my life.

So this blog is for,

 Papa, for teaching me to be cautious always, I still remember you telling me to be careful of the little kids who jump into the road from nowhere,

My husband, for being so patient and calm. You are better than the best teacher I could have asked for.

For Pop, for forcing me to drive your brand new Audi, for believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself.

You guys rock !!

THE MAGICIAN

You are my Magician, and like an awed spectator I still haven’t able to figure out how you do it.
How do you make me fall in love with you all over again and again, each time making it better than before.
How can things be so perfect with you,
How you manage to get it right all the time and how do you know what will make me smile,

It must be magic.

How do you remember what I said two years ago.
How do you know when to look at me in a crowded place and how do you know when I don’t want to go back just yet.

It is magic

How do you figure out when I need a hug and a kiss on the forehead,
How do you make our thousandth date feel like it is the first and how do you manage to pamper me like a kid and treat me like a lady.

It has to be magic.

How do you make time fly when we are together,
How do you make me feel like the prettiest girl on this planet.
How do you make feel so loved and how do you..
Love me so much..

You are my Magician and I hope the magic never ends!!

Daughters.. (n laws)

They may be called “Bahu Rani” but are hardly treated as such. Especially in a country like India, daughter -in -laws are always given the ‘special’ treatment and by special I don’t necessarily mean the beatings and torturing but even so, they are hardly ever treated as their own daughters. Please don’t get me wrong here, I am not here to write another saga about how a girl was mistreated by her own family, infact, it is just the opposite.

I belong to a completely different family, a family where expressiveness is not a quality, and openness of sentiments is well.. not common. Still, we are a family, without telling each other we love, share, suffer more importantly, LIVE. Then there is that common thread that binds us all together, that is my mother, the ‘bahu’ of the family. She was married into a family without a mother-in- law and a house that lacked the touch of feminism. Thirty years into the marriage and she is as if she always belonged to this family. She knits us together, making us COMPLETE, from my grandfather to my bua to chacha, be it anyone. We all claim we love her the most but we all know who it is, my grandfather has always held her close to his heart. She may be the one who has to listen to the maximum scolding’s from him,(which more often than not it is for the deeds of one of us) but he does not let anyone say a word against her. He has never openly said it, but he treasures her more than his own daughters and it is a fact well understood by his own daughters too.
My grandfather is not an easy man to please, he is those typical oldies who is fussy about things, likes his belongings a certain way and derives pleasure out of being the head of the house. Last week when I was home on a Sunday, he had his Television on to a maximum volume while we were all gearing up for our afternoon nap, my Dad, who cannot compromise on his sleep (Seriously, I have my doubts if he will stay up for my marriage), barged into his room and asked him to shut down the TV. Click, and there was dead silence. My mom called up today and told me that three days since that unfortunate Sunday my granddad did not turn on the TV at any time. Obviously, mom was the only one to notice it and told Dad and Bua about it, they did not want to intervene in it but mom couldn’t take it anymore. She tells me she had to sit with him for an hour to convince him to switch on the TV again.
There was a big smile on my face when mom was telling me the story and I couldn’t help but admire her. I have never told her this but I have always wanted to be like her, but it is not so easy. She tells me that she is knitting kids sweaters these days; she plans to give them to five poor kids one of whom she spotted at the Gurudwara today. Four more to go, she tells me, excited as a kid and I think to myself, ‘Man she makes it tougher every day’!!

Mom told me that her happiest day was when one of my Grandfathers relative told my Nani, that I hear your daughter is a wonderful ‘Bahu’, the best in the Bhatia family. “I want to hear that for you one day”, she told me.

I am going to try, try my best so that if someday I do achieve it I can proudly say, ‘It’s all because of my mother’!!

My books and me..

Here’s a tag for all book lovers! Slightly too long, but it is about BOOKS!!
1. Favorite childhood book? I guess it’l have to be Enid Blyton
2. What are you reading right now? Eat, Love Pray
3. Bad book habit? Falling asleep while reading a book. :) But I love when that happens
4. Do you have an e-reader? No. As if I already don’t spen enough time on computers.
5. Do you prefer to read one book at a time or several at once? One book at a time.
6. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog? Not really, infact I have started appreciating good novels
7. Least favorite book you read this year (so far)? It was so boring, I’ve even forgotten the name.
8. Favorite book you’ve read this year? Jeffery Archer- The Winner Stands Alone
9. How often do you read out of your comfort zone? Rarely
10. What is your reading comfort zone? Depends on my mood really, from mushy romantic novels to high packed drama to dramatic novels
11. Can you read on the bus? Nope, I feel dizzy
12. Favorite place to read? On a train journey, if I am alone
13. What is your policy on book lending? Should be returned the way it was lent
14. Do you ever dog-ear books? Only during emergencies, but I hate doing it.
15. Do you ever write in the margins of your books. Nope.. no way
16. Not even with text books?Not at all. I like my books clean ( underlines maybe)
17. What is your favorite language to read in?
18. What makes you love a book? If I get so engrossed in it that I loose track of time
19. What will inspire you to recommend a book- If it helps me change something in myself
20. Favorite genre? Nothing specific as such
21. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did?) – If I wish I did.. I would
22. Favorite biography- I don’t enjoy biographies, wouldn’t want to influence my life with what others did with theirs.
23. Have you ever read a self-help book? Not really
24. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction)-This year I have not been able to spend much time with the books
25. Favorite reading snack? Something where I don’t have to concentrate much on the eating part (popcorns maybe)
26. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience- Namesake27. How often do you agree with critics about a book? No, I like to make my opinions
28. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews? Not bad, its my opinion and I stick to it.
29. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you chose? Punjabi ( I want to learn it so that I can teach it to m y kids :P)
30. Most intimidating book you’ve ever read? Dr Brian Weiss- Many masters many lives and Sermons from the masters
31. Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin? None
32. Favorite Poet? Favorite fictional character? I don’t like poetry, too high fi for me
33. Favorite fictional villain? It would be from one of the Sidney Sheldon novels, they were all too good.
34. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation? Something light and funny
35. The longest I’ve gone without reading I guess the first 4 months of my first job.
36. Name a book that you could/would not finish- The Alchemist by Paulo Cohelo
37. What distracts you easily when you’re reading? Phone calls38. Favorite film adaptation of a novel? Harry Potters, all of them (cant wait for the last two )
39. Most disappointing film adaptation? Shakti, it is an adaptation of ‘Not without my daughter’, couldn’t do justice to the book
40. The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time? 500 bucks I guess
41. How often do you skim a book before reading it? I just read its back cover.. always
42. What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through? It does not appeal to me, or if I think ‘what crap is this’
43. Do you like to keep your books organized? I would like to, Yes
44. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them? No such hangups
45. Are there any books you’ve been avoiding? Not really
46. Name a book that made you angry. Angry?? Why would a book make me angry (unless it is one of those horoscope books which say I wouldn’t have a good year ahead, Screw them!!)
47. A book you didn’t expect to like but did? Harry Potter, that was a big surprise
48. A book that you expected to like but didn’t? Paulo Cohelo, I really thought I’d like it.
49. Favorite guilt-free, pleasure reading? Readers Digest, still love it!!

Random!!

I was having lunch at a restaurant today when I saw my phone (Bling!!) lying far across the table and I thought to myself, I should remember to pick it up once I leave, from the looks of these waiters they wont even give it back if I come back looking for it later.

Half an hour later, I had just walked out of the restaurant when a waiter came running after me.. "Ma'am you forgot your phone on the table"!!

God has funny ways of making us realize how selfish we are at times!!

The Big fat Indian Wedding

I know that the first question that will come to your mind after reading this blog is that why did I go to this wedding at all, so I am going to answer that first, it was a dear cousin’s wedding and in my defence, i was not aware of the risks that I was taking.

Anyways, the wedding started with the pre- marital ceremony called “Sagan”. As soon as I entered the Gurudwara I could feel all eyes on me, Ok granted, some of them were seeing me after ages and were actually using all their logics to figure out whose daughter I was. As soon I was seated, conscious that all my movements were being observed, I was pounded upon by the ladies who claimed to be my distant yet concerned relatives.

It took me less than five minutes to make an excuse and get out of there, I decided to go and sit with my cousin (the one who was getting married) who, like me, was trying to avoid the relatives but much to my dismay he was called and we were made to sit in the front. As soon as the ceremony ended and we proceeded for lunch I tried desperately to look for a known face before I could be a caught in a guessing game which my relatives love to play (mujhe pehchana? mein tumhara chacha, bua , tau). Awkward smiles, stolen glances, desperate attempts to avoid anyone more than 80 kgs (for fear of being pounded upon) which, considering it was a punjabi wedding was a cumbersome task.

Then, it started, “so, when do you plan to get married? I thought you’d marry before your brother? Working? In NOIDA?? YOU STAY IN A FLAT?? Considering these reactions, I would have been easily blamed for any stroke they got that day while it would actually have been from all the oily food that they were stuffing in. Again, awkward smiles, and desperate attempts to walk out of there. Somehow, swallowed my lunch and begged my mom to leave so that I could get a few minuted of peace at home but God had other plans. As soon as I settled down to sleep in a far corner of a room, I was brutually reminded that I had come to attend a wedding and apparently, sleeping in a wedding is a punishable offence.

Then started the ‘what they called’ Sangeet, which to be honest was quite entertaining( I an after alll a Punjabi) and I was enjoying all this from a far corner of the room where I was comfortable hiding behind my mom. tThen it started, one after the other my long lost cousins starting pouring in, one of whom was younger to me, with kids in their lap, looking like they’ve just walked out of an Ekta Kapoor serial, their mothers along them with their chest full of pride for their daughters, reason? her daughter became a mother in the first year of her marriage. I am sure she would not have been shocked had I told her that her daughter was nominated for a “Bharat Ratan”. My bechari mom, feeling a little out of place tried to match them by telling me “look at them, they look so well dressed, why don’t you dress up like them, but I subsided her excitement by replying “what about the kids they have? How do I match that?

The night passed somehow and the next morning I was awakened by ladies rushing here and there mostly looking for some thing for their husbands and their husbands looking for them. The wedding.. aah.. even more relatives, more stares making me even more uncomfortable. I tried convincing my dad to let me go but apparently we have the same blood group so none of us gave up till the end, I kept asking him to let me go, he kept ignoring me( Well done Dad). I sat with him for 10 mins, by then he had showed me around 10 people who wanted to get their sons married to me. By then I decided that my mom was a better company and stuck with her for the rest of the ordeal. I also offered mom a drink, told were it would help beat the boredom but she thought I was joking and stared smiling. (What??) I didn’t have the guts to tell her I was not.

I wish my cousin a very happy married life and through this blog I want to tell him, what I had to go through for his wedding!! Buy me a nice gift when we meet next. You owe me one!!

The Mushroom Theory

Assumptions/ Statutory Warnings:

1. To understand this theory you must be or at any given point of time should have been, madly in love.

2. Ignore the fact that this may be pure crap.

3. Will not take credit for this theory when telling your friends about it ( and they are nodding in approval)

4. Leave a comment on this blog( all you need is a gmail id)

Theory:

In every couple , there will be one person who likes mushrooms and the other who doesn't.

Implications:

1. You will never be able to order mushroom dishes in restaurants, because your better half would not enjoy

Results:

If you are in a committed relationship and the above story holds true holds for you then you are made for each other.

Disclaimer:

Call it lack of exposure, but I have been able to test this theory only on straight couples.

Waiting for your feedbacks....