Daughters.. (n laws)

They may be called “Bahu Rani” but are hardly treated as such. Especially in a country like India, daughter -in -laws are always given the ‘special’ treatment and by special I don’t necessarily mean the beatings and torturing but even so, they are hardly ever treated as their own daughters. Please don’t get me wrong here, I am not here to write another saga about how a girl was mistreated by her own family, infact, it is just the opposite.

I belong to a completely different family, a family where expressiveness is not a quality, and openness of sentiments is well.. not common. Still, we are a family, without telling each other we love, share, suffer more importantly, LIVE. Then there is that common thread that binds us all together, that is my mother, the ‘bahu’ of the family. She was married into a family without a mother-in- law and a house that lacked the touch of feminism. Thirty years into the marriage and she is as if she always belonged to this family. She knits us together, making us COMPLETE, from my grandfather to my bua to chacha, be it anyone. We all claim we love her the most but we all know who it is, my grandfather has always held her close to his heart. She may be the one who has to listen to the maximum scolding’s from him,(which more often than not it is for the deeds of one of us) but he does not let anyone say a word against her. He has never openly said it, but he treasures her more than his own daughters and it is a fact well understood by his own daughters too.
My grandfather is not an easy man to please, he is those typical oldies who is fussy about things, likes his belongings a certain way and derives pleasure out of being the head of the house. Last week when I was home on a Sunday, he had his Television on to a maximum volume while we were all gearing up for our afternoon nap, my Dad, who cannot compromise on his sleep (Seriously, I have my doubts if he will stay up for my marriage), barged into his room and asked him to shut down the TV. Click, and there was dead silence. My mom called up today and told me that three days since that unfortunate Sunday my granddad did not turn on the TV at any time. Obviously, mom was the only one to notice it and told Dad and Bua about it, they did not want to intervene in it but mom couldn’t take it anymore. She tells me she had to sit with him for an hour to convince him to switch on the TV again.
There was a big smile on my face when mom was telling me the story and I couldn’t help but admire her. I have never told her this but I have always wanted to be like her, but it is not so easy. She tells me that she is knitting kids sweaters these days; she plans to give them to five poor kids one of whom she spotted at the Gurudwara today. Four more to go, she tells me, excited as a kid and I think to myself, ‘Man she makes it tougher every day’!!

Mom told me that her happiest day was when one of my Grandfathers relative told my Nani, that I hear your daughter is a wonderful ‘Bahu’, the best in the Bhatia family. “I want to hear that for you one day”, she told me.

I am going to try, try my best so that if someday I do achieve it I can proudly say, ‘It’s all because of my mother’!!